I have found myself talking about this book this week after reading it. After talking about it with some other guys at church I wrote them this email because I couldn't remember the name of it.
The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children by John Rosemond
P.S.
I don't want to necessarily endorse everything in this book! I just
couldn't remember the name and so I thought I would send it when I
looked it up! It is worth reading as one source of input. Like I
said, I can understand why Amy's mom as an elementary guidance
counselor gave it to parents. It gives you ideas on how to shape up
your kids and her mom dealt with lots of misbehaving kids.
I understand from others that he is a newspaper columnist.
When you are new at something–Ryan is almost 4–it is good to have input.
Rosemond says stuff like, "If you walk into the room and one kid is crying and you can't figure out what happened, just put them both in their rooms for five minutes. They both probably deserve it and they will sort it out among themselves next time!" I thought that was pretty smart (and humorous). (That is not an exact quote).
He has lots of practical ideas. They say that a counselor or therapist helps people who are hurting think through their options. Books like Rosemond have a similar function–they remind you that there are different ways to approach parenting. I look forward to reading other takes.
2 replies on “Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children by John Rosemond”
Walking into a room – seeing two kids crying and automatically sending both kids to their room for five minutes?
I would totally disagree that this is ‘wise’ parenting. To me it seems like ‘lazy’ parenting b/c you are first, not respecting the children at ALL by slam dunking them with no hearing. Second, every child deserves to be heard (and not just seen). What if the one kid was crying b/c his toy broke (of no fault of anyone’s?) or accidentally hurt himself? Sending to the room with no ‘hearing’ stuffs down a child’s voice and offers him NO ability to change his way or adapt to the situation. It teaches them NOTHING about how to resolve conflict on his own in the future. Rather, stepping in, turning off the stove, and working it out WITH your kids is far more valuable. Kids need HELP to navigate sibling rivalry. That’s why kids have PARENTS!
I respect your take as a social worker and great parent and agree that parents need to be attentive and intervene carefully and lovingly. But he is right that kids need to be taught to get along and not scream for parents whenever there is the slightest conflict, right? But they need to be set up for success with appropriate activities for independent and shared play. I probably did not paraphrase him correctly or perhaps you are familiar with Rosemond already and don’t like him? I don’t know that I have ever felt the need to respond in exactly that same way that I describe. But I have in various situations told kids that we will put the toy away if we can’t share and then suggested a way of taking turns.