Any huge believers in traveling youth sports out there? If so, which reasons? (a) I want my kids to play on high school team, (b) for learning teamwork, hard work, and confidence, (c) for a possible college scholarship, and (d) they’re obsessed with the sport. Have any doubts?
I’ll give away my leaning toward recommending kids play (instead of travel sports) a recreational sport each season with (if possible) school classmates and focusing on teamwork, hard work, families, and exercise, rather than scholarships and specialization. But still processing.
Rev. Jess HB
@jess_h_b
Replying to @AndyRowell
Rec teams have really suffered due to travel clubs. By the time my boys got to 3rd grade the kids who enjoyed the sport went to club/travel and rec programs generally disorganized and not much emphasis on skill building 🙁 In our experience anyway…
@AndyRowell
Yes, good point. I think your experience is the norm. Trying to swim against this tide, I have coached a lot so that our kids have a good experience with rec. (And the massive time I have put in causes other parts of our lives to suffer).
Dan Reid
@editordanreid
Jul 9
Replying to @AndyRowell
Tough, isn’t it. Its dismaying how sports threaten to rule lives. My thinking is get them involved in a sport they can participate in all their lives. Like tennis or swimming. I wish I’d pursued tennis. It wears well.
Little Sailboat
@AmaraSailboat
Replying to @AndyRowell
I think it’s a balance! If they truly love it, let them pursue a more competitive traveling team. If they just want to try a sport out, a rec league or ymca class may be the right lane. Your attitude follows you in whatever you end up doing.
See also on Youth Soccer
Here, here to playing with your classmates, not destroying family life with travel, playing multiple sports, and not being delusional about getting sports scholarships.
The Downsides of America’s Hyper-Competitive Youth-Soccer Industry
The sport’s top tier is organized around the goal of producing a tiny group of elite players, at the expense of kids’—and parents’—well-being.
LINDA FLANAGAN
JUL 13, 2018
See also:
This is quite a powerful article on youth sports development, particularly soccer. Ted Kroeten argues against tryouts because of Relative Age Effect and argues the best players emerge late (age 15) after developing creatively by playing for fun.
What I take away from this is to facilitate (as a coach and parent) kids enjoying playing the sport. Encouraging pick-up games, small-sided games, scrimmaging.
It is 4 days into summer and we already need new ideas.
Allie and I finished Anne of Green Gables. It was my first experience and the beginning of that book is just incredible to get a picture of the expressiveness of a young girl.
Jacob and Allie fished for “minnows” in Minnehaha Creek with a net.
Big Nate is a big hit for all the kids and for mom.
Graphic novels of Martin Luther and Gandhi and Johnny Cash and Donald Trump and Alexander Hamilton.
Ryan riding his bike with his friend to go swimming in the lake.
Allie desperate to go swimming.
Jacob doing World War II with army figures in the basement.
Lots of deliberation about the treehouse. We are leaning against it at the moment.
Lots of baseball / softball and soccer. Allie scored last night. Being the head coach for the third and fourth grade baseball team takes a lot of my time. And I am the third coach for Ryan’s baseball team. And I’m also the third coach for Ryan soccer team. And I’m also helping out a little bit with Allie’s softball team — 4th or 5th coach there.
Kites on the last day of school for 4th grade. We had five going from 7 kites we bought for $1 at the Dollar Tree.
Ryan wanting to build a raft to go down the creek because tubing is old hat.
Allie is doing puzzles and enjoyed kayaking at the beach at the lake a friend. Jacob went tubing with a friend and Ryan went rafting with the youth group.
Kids are also begging for a campfire and s’mores.
Kids watch Jumanji with friends. They may also watch later movies that are new at Redbox: A Wrinkle in Time and Early Man. I think we have missed the new Han Solo movie at the theater: Solo.
Bowling? Science Museum? Zoo?
We need to paint the downstairs bathroom.
We went to three Minnesota Twins games for free. We go to Dollar Tree on the way there and let each kid pick two things to eat. And we also get a six pack of bottled water. Then we don’t have to buy things at the game. I park on the street near N 5th Ave & Royalston Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55405.
I last posted to this blog in 2012. Below is an update on what the kids are up to, a few recent photos, and then a compilation of funny things they have said since 2012 and various pieces of advice I have posted on Twitter and Facebook.
Update on kids May 2018
Ryan is a 7th grader and playing recreational soccer, basketball, baseball and ultimate frisbee, Boy scouts, church youth group, set and lights for school musical, playing saxophone, riding his bike, riding scooter, reading, playing Wii U video games and games on his phone (a little–we limit these), babysitting, and wants to build a tree house. With friends, he bikes to the lake and swims and also goes and sleds on his own with his friends. He plays infection tag with kids in the neighborhood.
Jacob is 4th grader and playing recreational soccer, basketball, and baseball and likes riding his scooter. He is also playing trumpet, Wii U and games on iPad (a little–we limit these). Jacob and I are about to finish the Harry Potter series reading it aloud. Jacob likes reading Big Nate. He likes drawing. He likes listening to music on Spotify including Weird Al.
Allie is a 2nd grader and playing recreational soccer, basketball, and softball and likes riding her scooter and jumping on the neighbor’s trampoline and loves swimming. She is also in Brownies. She loves listening to audiobooks: Doll People, A-Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children, Wayside School from the library’s Overdrive service on an old iPod. She likes making crafts for friends and family. She plays imaginary games with friends. She likes listening to music on Spotify including The Greatest Showman.
Fathers: https://twitter.com/AndyRowell/status/818700274466516992
Wallace Stegner: “The dominant figure in your life probably is your father, if you have one, and if he happens himself to be mixed-up . . .
irritable, and frustrated, and to feel himself many times a failure–those things do bounce off a child’s head and leave knots.”
I enjoyed Wallace Stegner’s novel The Big Rock Candy Mountain (1938). America. The West. Fatherhood. Restlessness. American Dream. Stories.
I read Wallace Stegner’s The Big Rock Candy Mountain on Eugene Peterson’s recommendation in his book Take & Read.
Parenting tip regarding love of books. 1. Look up some good books for the child’s age and request 20-30 from the library. 2. Begin listening to the audiobook or reading aloud the first chapters with the child. 3. Permit child to go on without you. You can catch up later or not.
Three forms of hyper-parenting:
(1) Micromanaging, home schooling, family-centric.
(2) Local-mission, public school, neighborhood, PTA, rec sports coach, school volunteer, birthday parties, friend-centric.
(3) Private school, travel sports, private language, music tutors, achievement-centric.
Facebook replies to people about books:
5/5/2017
We have paid a lot of library fines over the years because we check out tons of books from the library and then need to be conscientious about renewing them and have to go to the library once a week to return things and pick up what we requested so it also takes a lot of time. Our kids are 12, 9, and 7 now and all read a lot.
Our kids also use Overdrive from the library to download books onto our Kindle but I had to set the settings to exclude them playing games as that is too tempting for them.
Our kids have also been pretty into audiobooks downloaded from the library through Overdrive or checked out from the library as CDs–especially prior to second grade when they read more fluently on their own. They have listened to lots of audiobooks of: Magic Tree House, Junie B. Jones, A to Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children, and Wayside School. Audiobooks build up their vocabulary a lot so reading is way easier once they start reading on their own. Little kids can also check out books with CD’s from the library with the page turn signals so they can read along and turn the pages.
5/8/2014
With our oldest, we read lots to him (Jim Trelease – Read-Aloud Handbook recommendations) and he is now a great reader but the younger kids haven’t gotten the same attention so are not as interested I’m afraid so we probably need to ramp that up. Ideally, I think it is more fun and probably effective long-term for them to develop love for books and higher vocabulary by listening rather than drilling the mechanics and skill (but there probably is some place for sounding out things, spelling, etc.) With our first, we read lots and lots of picture books with great illustrations–lots of Horn book award winners:http://www.hbook.com/boston-globe-horn-book-awards/ I think that is hugely helpful for them in gaining vocabulary–to see the pictures. (I have had to learn German and testify to value of pictures!). In addition, he listened to lots of picture books with a CD from the library (where you turn the page with the signal). Then he listened to all of the Magic Tree House audiobooks(they improve after the first 10). Then lots more library audiobooks: Junie B. Jones (they also improve), A to Z Mysteries, Roald Dahl, Wayside School, Secrets of Droon, Beast Quest, Dick King-Smith, Beverly Cleary, and Encyclopedia Brown. He listened in the car, while drawing, playing basketball, playing with Legos, etc. Christian books: First grade: Narnia. Second grade: Wingfeather Saga. 3rd grade: The Action Bible.
This is quite a powerful article on youth sports development, particularly soccer. Ted Kroeten argues against tryouts because of Relative Age Effect and argues the best players emerge late (age 15) after developing creatively by playing for fun. What I take away from this is to facilitate (as a coach and parent) kids enjoying playing the sport. Encouraging pick-up games, small-sided games, scrimmaging. https://www.poweredbyjoy.org/single-post/2018/02/13/The-revolution-will-not-hold-tryouts
This is quite a powerful article on youth sports development, particularly soccer. Ted Kroeten argues against tryouts because of Relative Age Effect and argues the best players emerge late (age 15) after developing creatively by playing for fun.
Our 4th grader asked the main (adult) objections to Christian faith at breakfast today. “People died even though we prayed they wouldn’t. Aren’t other religions just as likely to be true? God does not seem physically present now. How do we know the Bible is not fiction? Was Jesus a real person?”
So, a lesson is if one is old enough to read Percy Jackson and Harry Potter, then one is old enough to talk about these questions. For what it’s worth, I think Christian faith has more plausible rational responses to these questions than other points of view. And I think there are some other questions not mentioned above where Christianity is particularly persuasive: Where does one receive moral direction if there is no God? If there is no God, there is little hope.
I think generally with kids and adults it is a better approach to constructively teach the stories of the Bible and how the logic of Christianity works, rather than focusing on the most difficult borderline questions for which neither atheism nor religion have complete answers. When one is wearing Christian glasses, life and the world come into focus and make sense.
As for resources, we facilitate the Alpha course which allows and encourages any and all questions like this. There is also a youth curriculum. I liked Tim Keller’s latest book Making Sense of God. We also like Peter Enns’s Telling God’s Story curriculum for families. We also recommend the Narnia series and Harry Potter for moral and spiritual formation. Most important for thoughtful reflection on these issues and moral formation is attendance and involvement at a great church. At a good church, one should not be left with the impression that Christianity is totally farfetched but that it is helpful and useful and practical and pro-science and healthful. As I say this I’m conscious that it needs to be said over and over: Yes, too many Christians claim to be Christians and don’t look much like Jesus. Christianity that does not look like Jesus is not Christianity.
We bought a house! The neighbors refer to it as the Up house, the gingerbread house, the Easter egg house, the Vikings house, the Crayola house, etc. We’re working on it for now and move in August 5th. It is 4 blocks from our previous home. Come by and distract us from painting and give us your advice on a million home improvement issues.
12-year-old woke up and said he had a dream that he got a phone. 9-year-old: That means he should get one. Me: That’s not really how it works. 9-year-old: Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream!
Friday afternoon. 1st-grade-girl, “Halloween is coming! Let’s make scary decorations!” 6th-grade-boy, “Let’s play some pranks!” 3rd-grade-boy: “Let’s go buy some candy!” Old tired father: “How about we go to the library, clean up the house, and do laundry?”
Camped this weekend. Great outdoors makes you appreciate great indoors. Upon returning to internet range, googled “lightning while in tent.” Highlights were 6-year-old daughter volunteering to paddle in canoe and climbing 100 foot fire tower with “no forcing.” 11-year-old: “I just love fire.” 8-year-old: “I just can’t stop myself from looking for good rocks.” Also finding dropped key in gravel lot, a dry tent, no allergic peanut reaction to accidental Mr. Goodbar bite. Sliding van door was stuck open in middle of nowhere. Cut door wire with 8-year-old’s pocket knife and it shut. Honda dealer, you’re welcome. Pretty apparent when camping which campers are nice and which are not. I started out as latter but became a little more of the former as time went on–and this is why you go camping I suppose. Some illustrations in comments below.
“Did anyone comment on your Duke shirt today?” Jacob: “No, I don’t think any of them celebrate March Madness.” Some families observe certain religious holidays, others are non-observant.
Help. Children wanting to use hose to reinforce snow fort and do experiments with household chemicals. These children need jobs (with no holidays) or school to start again!
8 year old Jacob on being bribed with food to stay up late with me to watch the Cubs (win!). “Why are we doing this again?” Because the Cubs lost in 1984 and 1989. “Oh yeah.”
We let the boys stay up until 10:30 to watch Duke win but they were mostly inspired to play basketball themselves on our little hoop next to the TV which is good I guess but I kept saying, “You can play basketball tomorrow. We’re letting you stay up to watch the game.” After the win began the decision-making about whether to wear their Duke shirts tomorrow to school. “Some of the tough kids are big Wisconsin fans.” These things must be considered carefully. (We went bananas cheering but we usually cheer for the underdog so understand the many annoyed. My take is many of these tournament games are close and the players are kids so: luck and low expectations).
Family update: We are excited that Amy Steinfield Rowell will start as Pastor of Community Life at City Church in southwest Minneapolis on August 11th. We are renting a house a few blocks from the church building and moving this Sat, Aug 2nd. I’ll still teach at Bethel Seminary but have a 25 min commute. Unfortunately, the boys (Ryan 4th grade, Jacob 1st grade) will have to adjust to a new school (Burroughs Elementary) but it is a good school. We are sad to be moving away from our Arden Hills and Shoreview friends but excited to be joining this new community.
4-year-old Allie batting today with her tiara under her baseball helmet–beautiful and tough like her mom Amy Steinfield Rowell. Happy Mother’s Day as well to my mom Brenda McDonell. We miss Amy’s mom Nancy Steinfield as well today.
A family photo from this week: me, Jacob (6), Ryan (8), Allie (3), and Amy. It was chilly and this is the second spot where we posed so Ryan isn’t thrilled. I just checked and the current weather is -2°F feels like -19° and yes, it is March. We’ve had six days of school cancelled in Jan and Feb for extreme cold or heavy snow but we are enjoying the sledding, ice-skating, and are thankful for a two-car garage, a short commute, down comforters, and the indoor Shoreview Community Center playground. We signed up for baseball today–games begin in May!
On the Olympics: 3 year old Allie on a couple ice dancing. “That man is trying to keep up with that woman.” Also: “Snowboarding is the dangerousest.” 6 year old Jacob: “Do they have boxing on skates? That would be cool.” – with Amy Steinfield Rowell
This is one of those days that the weather is different in MN (-6°F) from NC (69°F). We hadn’t felt much difference until Thanksgiving. But the kids are loving the snow.
Why I am not letting my boys play football and why we have stopped watching it. I’ll be glad to be wrong because I love football. “By the fall of 2012, McKee had examined the brains of 34 former NFL players. Thirty-three had CTE.”
Our kids were with Grandma this week. Here are the photos. The kids arrived last night in St. Paul, MN–thanks to Kathi McDonell Valentino and Joe. We still have lots of boxes and no internet but are getting there. The townhouse will work ok–decent shape, mostly soundproof we think, a little small, nice grounds. Kind people–everywhere–it is impressive. Beautiful weather. Lots of construction and traffic. Lowes/Home Depot/Menard’s: 20 minutes away–too far! Lots of family stuff everywhere: indoor waterslide in hotel. A couple anecdotes: Left the frog at Red Robin restaurant last night but the employees have the bowl and him and Kathi is going to bring it to us Monday on her way back to Illinois. First morning today in the house: Jacob said: “I want to go back to our old house.” Allie said: “You’re never going back there!” He punched her.
“Allie, what did you learn at VBS today?” 3-year-old Allie: “An angry mom was chasing Paul!” [Acts 17:5 “a mob started a riot in the city. They rushed to Jason’s house in search of Paul.”]
Looks like we have a townhouse to rent in Arden Hills, MN 4-7 minutes from Bethel Seminary, which will give us a chance to get to know the Twin Cities a bit more before we buy. The boys will be going into 3rd grade and kindergarten at Island Lake Elementary School in Shoreview, MN. AND we’re thrilled to have sold our house to great folks! We’re moving out of Durham, NC around July 23rd.
Big news for us: I am taking a position as Assistant Professor of Ministry Leadership at Bethel Seminary in St. Paul, MN. Our house here in Durham, NC closes July 24th. We would be glad for your advice about the Twin Cities. We are excited!
5-year-old Jacob listening to a gospel choir from Mt. Level Missionary Baptist Church at a combined service with Blacknall Presbyterian Church tonight: “Are they making a CD of this?”
5-year-old Jacob: “Mommy, did you know that an ogre came out when Jesus opened Lazarus’s tomb?” [John 11:39 “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”]