Category: Parenting website

Three year old Ryan:
About this favorite stuffed animal–Fanny the Fox. 
Amy: "Ryan, is Fanny a boy or girl?" 
Ryan: "She is a boy."
Amy: "No wonder I was confused."

More about Fanny. 
Ryan: "She is free [three] just like me  . . . so we are on the same team.  Her birthday is April 17.  Then she will be four!" 

Ryan is also into David (as in David and Goliath).  "Fanny's middle name is David.  Fanny David Fox."

Ryan also puts matchbox cars in his sock and twirls them around.  "I'm David.  Fi fi fo fum."  Note the conflating of David and Goliath with Jack and the Beanstalk–who also confronts a giant.   

Furthermore, his knowledge of David and Goliath is conflated with his three minutes of watching Kung Fu Panda at Wal-Mart one day. 

Ryan: "Fanny's name is Fanny David Fox."

Me: "Why?" 

Ryan: "She [Fanny] is named David because she likes kung fu." 

More theology:

While angry at his little brother Jacob: "You are going to die on the cross forever!" 

We often watch NBC Nightly News as a free podcast on iTunes.  We turn it off when they start talking about the conflict in Gaza because this is unsuitable for children.  Ryan therefore has learned that Gaza has to do with fighting.  "I'm Gaza-man!  I fight!"  We have tried to discourage this talk.  Oh, parenting.     

Ryan also likes to play "silly Fanny game" where the parent and Ryan play catch with Fanny while Ryan stands on his bed.  Fanny is a beanbag stuffed animal and thus is pretty good for playing catch.  I learned to juggle using bean bags.

In past news:
We had our car accident in December.  See Accident but we are ok.

Then we were sick. 

Twitter post by me from Jan 5:
Andy is philosophical that some days one just cleans up poop and vomit–the price of community, relationships, and weakness. 5:48 PM Jan 5th from web

We were very proud that Ryan puked in the toilet when he puked.  Of course, being the one who was sick last, we had plenty of opportunity to coach him and practice.  

Ryan is also very into bringing his own umbrella stroller to Museum of Life and Science and pushing a few figures in it.  So I push Jacob and Ryan pushes his stroller. 

Ryan is very into the Play-dough that he got over Christmas. 

Ryan's favorite CD is Kid's Praise: Psalty's Christmas Calamity. 

He knows (some of the) words to lots of songs–from Away in a Manger to Blessed Be Your Name.

He sang great in front of all the mom's at women's bible study in December with all the other kids. 

It should be noted that Ryan loves his mommy a lot these days–asking
for her to lay down with him when he goes to sleep which she sometimes
does.

Jacob update:

Today:
"Jakey likes it"–namely Life Cereal. Our 1 year old ate three bowls of Life this morning. What a discovery–he likes sugar.

Jacob understands everything: book, ball, hug, food, bye-bye, bath, sleep, and shoes.

Jacob can now use a spoon and fork for applesauce, yogurt, cereal, etc. 

He is getting molars.  He likes to eat.  Of course it just takes him awhile too with only front teeth to chew stuff. 

Jacob's vocabulary at 16 mos is not great but he is trying to say everything. 
Dada–Daddy
Dat–That
Nana–Food
Alldu–All done
Hot–Hot/Candle
Baba–what a sheep says
Ball–Balloon
Ssss–what a snake says

Sign language:
More
Please
Thank you
Point often with "dat!"

Ryan can do his new Razor scooter around the house. 
Jacob hangs on and does it pretty well as well. 

Jacob still loves his riding toy and is starting to like the big wheel. 

Ryan loves the big wheel and is starting the scooter and the bike with training wheels. 

A few parenting thoughts:
1. Reading Aristotle: it matters how children are raised.  We learn from others the virtues.  Plato (quoted by Aristotle) education is learning to love the right things.
2. It is important to teach kids manners.  See this article in the NYTimes by a pediatrician.
Making Room for Miss Manners Is a Parenting Basic
3. Maria Montessori was right about this.  It is good to let children do as much as they can do.    For example, letting Jacob use a fork.    

Yesterday Jacob pulled himself up while inside the tub bathing and tossed himself over the side on to the floor as I narrowly missed catching him.  That was a fine time to learn to pull himself up. 

Today he pulled himself up on the coffee table.  He is cruising side to side better. 

Today while I was on the roof washing the siding he clapped his hands together telling me "More" – meaning "Dad, I want some food.  Will doing this sign language help get some food?" 

He tries to say "All done."  He has a nice Chicago accent with a drawl of an a sound. 

Ryan to us at breakfast when the babysitter put him down to sleep, "You guys were gone a long time." 

When I went into his room he woke up one night, "Fanny the fox was already sleeping" meaning he was projecting his own sleep on to the stuffed animal.   

Similarly, he said tonight, "I am not sure what to do tonight.  I guess I will do whatever Brachiosaurus wants to do." 

After sleeping past 8 am for the first time ever and contemplating his digital clock, "Where did the seven go?"

When he gets in trouble for say knocking Jacob over taking a toy from him, Ryan has been exclaiming non sequiturs like, "No one knows my name" or "I'm not a good singer anymore" or "I'm not a good hitter anymore."  We have tried to psychoanalyze and probe whether there is some substance behind these expressions of inadequacy / self-doubt but at this point we are chalking them up to being poorly articulated expressions of remorse for being caught doing something wrong. 

Ryan wore his knee pads (the biggest accomplishment) and learned to ride his two-wheeler bike with training wheels down the driveway.  He also with my spotting/gently pushing rode the bike for 10 minutes in a row yesterday. 

We have new sleep schedule (i.e. we are recommitted to it). 

Both wake up 7:00 am
Jacob nap 9:00 am
Both nap 1:00 pm .  Ryan gets woken up at 3:00 pm.
Bedtime 8:00 pm

Of course it is never that simple but that is the idea. 

Ryan still can't put on his underwear and shorts or socks and shoes
though he can take them all off.  That should probably be pursued soon.
  

Amy has Jacob weaned down (skipping the dinner nursing) to just wake up, lunch and bedtime.  Lunch is the next to be eliminated. 

Ryan loves red raspberries (and blueberries if they are sweet).  They both like Life and Shredded Oats cereal.  Jacob loves cheese.  They both like meat (chicken and steak).  Ryan also loves peanuts and cashews.  Ryan likes baby carrots.  Jacob will eat broccoli.  Jacob tosses things he doesn't like overboard. Both will eat sliced cucumbers.  They both eat pita.  Ryan and Jacob love
yogurt – why not with all the sugar is what I say.  Jacob can eat a
whole meal by himself but he still likes baby food served up on a spoon.  Ryan loves to
dip everything – ranch dressing and BBQ sauce and syrup being the most
frequent.  Of course peanut butter and honey on multigrain bread is a favorite for both boys, we try not to have it everyday at lunch.  Jake loves whole milk (cold) in a sippy. 

We didn't know you were supposed to teach kids to drink out of cup without a lid but apparently it is better for their mouth development to do so thus both Ryan (3) and Jacob (11 mos) are on the cup regimen.  Jacob can do it (even one-handed) in his high chair though he is sloppy so we take the cup when he has had a few sips. Plus, he ends up burping a lot later.  Ryan is worried about spilling on the carpet, "It will make a stain!"  he says (which causes Amy to glare at me that Ryan knows this).  Ryan openly wonders what it would be like to pour it over Jacob's head. 

I have three-year-old and ten-month-old boys.  I am home with them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  My schedule is pretty flexible as a doctoral student at Duke.  Today I had an easy day.  My one task was to make cookies for us to bring for dessert tonight at another family’s house.  It is 2:15 pm and I have accomplished the task and cleaned up the kitchen but I have done little else beyond normal parenting.  My normal parenting tasks took this form today:  I vacuumed, changed the boys, set the kids up with toys, borrowed some sand toys from the neighbors, read a few books to each of them, fed them breakfast and lunch, put them down to naps, had one conversation on the phone for 15 minutes, scanned my RSS feeds at Google Reader, and disciplined Ryan for head-butting “bonking” Jacob (3 minutes in timeout and a lecture from dad).

All of that to say, I have not done much and the day is half-gone.  I therefore absolve all parents from feeling they are bad parents or disorganized or inefficient if an unexpected thing “comes up” (and it can even be a little thing and something always comes up) and a parental ball falls.  It is unrealistic  to juggle even the basic four things all of the time: keep a clean house, feed children decent meals, give the kids some attention, and shower.  You can try to juggle these tasks (and it is important to try) but you are normal if you fall short. Parenthood involves kindly trying to put sane boundaries around constant chaos.

I have enjoyed listening to some podcasts from Harvard Business Review’s IdeaCast today  while working in the kitchen.  Like being a CEO, parenting involves prioritizing, self-control, energy, gentleness, backbone, and the courage to manage change and chaos.    

So play with the kids.  Fight the obsessive-compulsive tendencies to keep the house in pristine condition.  Love the kids.  Get together with other people.  Clean up a little when they are asleep.  And reflect regularly on what is really important.    

Andy