Andy Rowell

Turansky / Miller vs. Rosemond

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Andy Rowell

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Below I have sketched some of the major differences between two Christian parenting philosophies.     

See my reviews of their books: 

Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond
Parenting is Heart Work by Joanne Miller and Scott Turansky

Both gave me good things to think about.

The two lists of items below should be compared and contrasted (1 with 1, 2 with 2, etc.).

John Rosemond:

  1. Parents should raise kids to be independent. 
  2. Parents should not be helicopter parenting–hovering over their children. 
  3. The marriage comes first. 
  4. Children need to know they are not the center of the universe.  
  5. Children should do as much as they are able to do for themselves.  
  6. Discipline should be severe enough that it gets the child's attention.  
  7. The parent must live their own life.  
  8. Children don't need a bunch of extracurricular activities like sports. 

Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller:

  1. Parents should raise their children to think Christianly. 
  2. Parents should always be brainstorming, teaching, and subtly directing the child's development. 
  3. Parenting takes an enormous amont of attentiveness to the child.
  4. Parents should be extremely patient and attentive to the child. 
  5. Children should be constantly monitored to make sure they are having accurate thoughts–neither prideful, nor discouraged.  
  6. Severe discipline backfires–the child will become rebellious.  
  7. Parents should spend time preparing to teach the child creative lessons about life.  
  8. Children benefit from the influence of other people such as coaches and teammates. 

Disclaimer: The academic in me feels bad not putting footnotes with page numbers by all of these perceptions.  These are not direct quotes.  They are rather my impressions of how the philosophies differ.  I think to a large degree these two philosophies could be reconciled but I think it is useful to see the different emphases.  Because I am trying to read 8 parenting books (Parenting books I might read) I have other stuff I am supposed to be doing (including parenting), I am reading these books rather quickly.  I'm reading these books because I want to be a better parent. 

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