Pollster George Barna interviews quality Christian young adults in their twenties–asking them about their parents. Then he interviews those parents about their secrets to success. Because of this method and because Barna also has teenage daughters, the book places much greater emphasis on parenting teenagers than parenting toddlers like John Rosemond emphasizes. (See my review of Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond).
Barna argues for very involved conservative cautious parenting. At first glance, this sharply contrasts with Rosemond who emphasized that many parents do too much for their children so that the children are never disappointed or find their self-esteem questioned. Barna wants to see parents who spend enormous amounts of time with their children, thinking through every situation with their child. He regularly emphasizes the relationship you have with your child. Rosemond emphasizes that the child must know the parent is the parent. But in the end, their advice is actually quite compatible. Both are very pessimistic about "postmodern" culture and feel parents need to take drastic steps to correct and guide their children or they will not become young adults with strong Christian character.
Positively, the idea to interview spiritually strong young adults and ask them and their parents about parenting is a pretty good method. I suppose we could all do the same–asking teens who turned out well what their parents did and asking their parents as well for their advice.
Negatively, the book is a hodgepodge of ideas with little overriding message.
Three things I took from the book which you surely would not because they are rather minor parts of the book:
1. Read the Bible and pray with your kids (p. 32, 96) though a number of the exemplary parents admit their systematic attempts failed. I still want us as a family to find ways to do these things at a level our kids (ages 4 and 20 mos) understand. What I mean is that I continue to want us to use short prayers, songs, Kids Praise CD's, Jungle Jam CD's, kids' books, as well as the constant teachable moments.
2. I need to let up slightly on the kids about whining–which I have been frustrated about. If they end up doing the desired behavior with a few groans, complaints, questions and protests–that is about all you can ask for. I drew this from a comment by one of the exemplary young adults who reflected,
3. Barna talks alot about watching movies, etc. with your children and helping them analyze the message and assumptions contained therein. This idea just raises for me the need for parents to be attentive–to listen–to their children–to really try to hear those gears turning and get in touch with what those little minds are processing and thinking. This takes some intentionality.